A Re-Orientation For Disorientation

It’s a Sunday morning and I’m sitting by the deck inside my home. Sun casting shadows and I get to feel warmth throughout and pockets of coolness amongst the shadows. Meanwhile the breeze from an open door bathes me with its glory.

Life is good. And I’m reflecting on the parts of me that sometimes doubt myself. Even when there are moments of feeling down and moments of overwhelming self criticism or simply feeling into a harshness, it truly feels so nice to bask in gratitude in this moment.

There will always be shadow, and there will always be light, at least I think, in my lifetime. And sometimes it can feel like one may start to get pulled into a vortex where all that lives in there is disorienting madness! I believe this happens especially during moments of change and transitions. Whether we are aware of it or not.

Change is necessary and part of life. We can’t stop it!

Curiosity is so important to hold. I think curiosity is one of the most important parts of being alive.

Through curiosity, I have found some truths that are helpful for me to hold during times of disorientation and when I hold these truths, I have felt myself move towards these moments of change and transition in a more oriented and self empowered way.

One thing I will mention, this is not advice, but something to hold gently and to ponder about. I truly believe that you know what you need more than I do.

And so, here are 17 important truths I’ve learned about myself moving forward into a direction that feels meaningful and true.

1. Doubt is normal and part of growing. Stay curious.

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, doubt can be a time for pause and reassessment. Doubt is awareness between what is internalized and what is external, where you are going, who you are, and where you want to be. Doubt is often a sign that something is shifting. Perhaps we can become curious about what doubt is trying to show us.

2. Ask the question: Why is this important?

Whether it is about a tangible thing you want, an emotional state, a relationship, or a dissatisfaction with something you have, this question can bring us closer to something deeper. Sometimes what we think we want is only part of the story. Underneath it may be a longing for connection, freedom, purpose, belonging, rest, or something else entirely.

3. Remember where you come from.

Where is this misalignment, doubt, or insecurity coming from? Go as far back as your own story, as well as the story you are living right now in this moment. Become curious about your timeline.

Remember that you do not exist in isolation. You are influenced by your family, ancestry, culture, traditions, neighborhoods, communities, environment, and the time in history in which you are living. You are also influenced by the social messages and systems that surround you, many of which become so familiar that they are difficult to see.

And then there is your inner world.

Become curious about the younger versions of yourself. What did they learn about safety, belonging, success, love, rest, or worthiness? What did they need? What did they fear? What dreams did they carry? Sometimes what we are experiencing today is not only connected to the present moment, but also to experiences that occurred years ago.

We are living many stories at once. Personal stories. Family stories. Cultural stories. Collective stories. Understanding where we come from can help us better understand where we are, and where we may want to go.

4. Remember your values.

What are your core values? The ones stripped down to their essence. What is really important to you? What matters to you at the end of the day?

When life feels uncertain, values can serve as a compass, helping us orient ourselves when we do not know exactly where we are going.

5. Notice how you are living your values.

Are you living according to your values right now? Have you forgotten something important? Are there areas of your life asking for more attention, care, honesty, or courage? Sometimes we become so fixated on what we think we need that we overlook what truly matters.

6. Ask what is needed.

What would it look like to live closer to your own values? It’s okay to start small. Often, it is the small and consistent steps that create meaningful shifts over time.

7. When you set goals, hold them gently.

Goals can give us direction, but when we grip them too tightly, we can lose sight of the present moment. Allow room for flexibility, learning, surprise, and even change. Sometimes the destination shifts as we do. Remember, we are both a teacher and a student in this world.

 When you don’t know much about your goals or they feel foggy, go with what you do know. Follow that interest. That desire. That simple curiosity. Start there.

8. Trust your body and somatics.

Your body can offer clues about what is happening inside and outside of you. It can be a helpful compass.

Sometimes there are moments when the body is overwhelmed, as we are trying to figure things out, finding answers, and trying to know. Is that a sign that it needs rest? Is your body asking you to slow down, seek support, or tune into something else for a while? What nourishment is needed at this time? Food, water, sunlight, kindness…

This is huge. Even when you feel discomfort and unease, often it is an internal indication to slow down a bit. This is normal.

 I cannot stress this one enough! Your body is so wise.

9. Go at a pace that feels doable.

Take in amounts that genuinely feel doable. So often we push ourselves for the sake of a goal, only to find ourselves exhausted or completely disatissfied. Work with your body and your goals together. They do not need to be in opposition to one another. There really is no need to do everything at once.

10. Be accountable for your choices and remember that every gain comes with some loss.

We get to choose, and when there is a gain, there is often a loss. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I believe we can grow in many directions, and there is power in choice which direction we’d like to explore at this time.

Sometimes taking one job means letting go of another opportunity. Sometimes saying no means letting go of what could have been. Sometimes choosing one path means not choosing another.

If we spend too much time viewing loss as a huge problem, we may never move at all. Then perhaps we lose ourselves in the process. And with some loss may come grief. Grief can be a reflection of what mattered. We can deeply love what was and still move forward.

Loss does not always have to be dramatic. Sometimes it is as simple as shedding what no longer fits and making room for something new. Nature reminds us of this all the time.

11. Embrace the mystery.

There is strength in not knowing! We spend so much of our lives trying to understand, predict, control, and make sense of things. While there is wisdom in seeking understanding, there is also wisdom in recognizing the limits of what we can know. Life contains mystery. The future is unknown. The universe is vast. There are questions we may never have answers to. Rather than seeing this as a problem, perhaps it can be an invitation into humility, wonder, awe, and our own humanity.

The liminal space between what was and what will be can feel uncomfortable, but it can also be fertile ground. It reminds us that we are not omnipotent. We are not meant to know everything. We are one small part of something much larger.

12. Trust the environment.

If every inhale carried your hopes, goals, and visions, let the exhale be an act of trust. A reminder that you do not have to carry everything alone.

Sometimes the next step is not to push harder, but to trust that the world can meet you halfway.

13. Talk to someone.

A friend, family member, therapist, mentor, community member, or even a kind stranger. Talk to someone.

I am almost certain someone else is going through, has gone through something similar. And if they haven’t, even their different perspective can go a long way for you.

There is something powerful about being witnessed, understood, and reminded that we are not alone. There is something powerful about mentorship.

Move towards those that feel safe and those that honor a truth you hold deeply.

14. Move. Dance. Sing. Pause. Play. 

Make room, make room, make some rooooom for joy in life!

Laugh. Be silly. Create. Wander. Wonder. Delight!

Do not take it all so seriously! It’s sometimes funny to me. Again, I am a human, sure worthy of love and life and grateful to be existing, and also, I am just a tiny spec here on earth who knows not everything.

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!!! lkjdlskfdjldsf

:)

15. Feel into contentment and gratitude.

Contentment is not the same thing as settling.

It does not mean giving up on your dreams, ambitions, or desires. It means allowing yourself to appreciate what is here, too.

Bask in the now. Notice what you have accomplished. Notice who you are. Feel into gratitude and enoughness.

There will always be more to do, more to learn, more to become.

Put it down for a moment and rest in the truth that you have done enough for today.

Ahhh. Breathe.

16. Celebrate your own you-ness.

Celebrate who you are in this moment. Not the future version of you. Not the past version of you. You, right here.

There may be things you want to change, goals you want to accomplish, and ways you want to grow, and that is okay. Growth is part of being human.

But do not forget to make room for who you already are.

Notice your strengths, your quirks, your gifts, your imperfections, your story, and your humanity.

You do not need to become someone else in order to be worthy of celebration.

17. Connect with the more-than-human world.

Spend time outside. Notice the pace and wisdom of the natural world. Observe trees, birds, changing seasons, clouds, wind and water… Nature reminds us that everything moves in cycles. It reminds us that we are interconnected, that we belong, and that we are part of something much larger than ourselves.

-Imuri