Why I work as an IFS therapist
I remember a supervisor told me to read a book called No Bad Parts, and I remember reading the first chapter and aligning so much with what Dick Schwartz was talking about: how we exist in multiplicities. A lot of this philosophy came from Eastern traditions I’m drawn to, as well as Gestalt therapy, existentialism, and other present moment oriented theories. In Western society, we tend to emphasize a single, unified self, often labeling inner complexities and multiplicities as disorders.
IFS states that there aren’t bad parts in us. That we have complexities and that it is normal. That we have parts that exist naturally. This was just the first chapter, and already I was curious and eager to learn more. As I read on and got into the meditations and the specifics of what IFS is, I realized that, without even knowing it, I had already aligned with this framework in myself.
Even though I hadn’t used “parts” language, I always tended to normalize a client’s experience. Not in a surface-level “just normalize it” way, but it actually did feel normal to me. I remember in training wondering why so many people around me were trying so hard to fix and change, when, to me, a lot of it felt understandable and it was something that I accepted. Of course, I always did my due diligence and kept risks in mind, but in my heart, there was room to go further into my clients’ experiences without a need to “fix.” Interestingly, when a client was able to accept their experience fully without resistance or judgment, this created space for natural, embodied change to happen.
IFS also aligned with who I am as a person: deeply curious and open to possibilities, excited by some of the unknown things in the world. The way my mind is, it feels like there are endless channels. Feeling connected to myself, I’ve found that I’ve navigated life in a way that often felt like flow. Not to say it’s always been easy or perfect, but there was a sense that things felt right, and even when they didn’t, I knew I would be okay. Looking back, I realize I was often quietly connected to myself in a steady way. It’s as if my child self was still with me, even if I didn’t have the language for it then. It was simply me, you know? Without any analysis. It felt like time hadn’t really passed.
Through my study of IFS, I’ve come to understand this as being connected with Self energy, or what some might call the inner child. Whether it was joy and curiosity shining through, or moments of fear and rawness, I now see all of it as part of that ongoing connection. I trained in two levels, IFS Level 1 and Level 2, and I appreciate the model and what it has to offer. I find that sometimes it helps slow things down for myself and for my clients.
That said, I’m not someone who subscribes to following things to a T, or always in the same way. Although this model feels natural and aligns with me, I really listen to my clients, the relationships I have with them, and my own sense of knowing. I guess I’d call myself a holistic and integrative therapist who resonates deeply with IFS.
I’ve found that through my own curiosity, of myself and of the world around me, I’ve learned and grown more than I ever did by subscribing too tightly to any one model.
And when I think about the heart of IFS, the message is: Be yourself. Be who you really are in this moment. And that’s so profound to me.
When I say “be yourself,” I don’t mean it as a static identity. It’s not a one-time thing. It’s really about this moment. In this moment, who are you? What are you composed of? Who shapes you? What shapes you? How are you shaping yourself—and how are you resting? What is coming up? To me, it’s an ever-evolving unfolding. These are questions to be curious about but also there is power in not questioning who you are in this moment. Somethings just are and if we feel free in our flow, we don’t need to always understand it all. I don’t believe there’s just one self to be. It’s layered, complex, and always shifting. And when we can accept this, things seem to flow a little more effortlessly.
So yes, I’m an IFS therapist, but mostly, I’m trying my best to be a human. To honor who I am, be realistic, and stay open to what happens within me and around me. I find that sometimes the best work happens when we do that: when we embody ourselves and learn from both our own experiences, inner wisdom, the environment, and really just the world as we know it, and the mysteries of what we don’t know.
For more information on what is IFS, please check a blog post i wrote on IFS, called What is IFS?.
-Imuri
